Wednesday, 27 June 2012


I have been considering writing this post for a few weeks, and have waited as I thought about its contents.

Rather cryptic am I not?

I talk about The Chap on a regular basis. We were introduced over a year ago by a good friend with whom I attend evening class.

I am very happy with him, and I hope he is happy with me.

One issue that we actually rarely talk about, but I am constantly aware of is money. Namely the discrepancy between our incomes.

I have also mentioned before, that up until recently I was earning a very healthy salary that enabled me to drive a fancy excecutive car and go on long haul holidays every year. The advent of the recession stopped this as most of my spare cash was in commission form.

The Chap’s attitude to cash and mine differ, primarily as he has no debt and has expendable income.

I want to be just like him when I grow up!

I plan for everything and budget my weekly cash allowance. TC has no need to do this.

So I do get very embarrassed at not being able to do things. I cannot afford dinners out very often, and will suggest an alternative if TC suggests a take away for dinner as I know I do not have the money to pay my half or my turn.

I also often have to buy special food when he eats with me as I cannot bear to serve him my frugal fare.

TC is oblivious most of the time for the reason why I say No, as it is not his problem and therefore I do not mention it.  But, I find it tricky as I always insist on paying my way. I have never relied upon anyone else for money and am scrupulous at paying my half of everything.

It brings me to a dilemma, TC has offered to pay off my debt of £562 as he knows how much it bothers me and also I think he gets bored of hearing me discuss it with him.

I am absolutely not letting him do this, but I suppose I sometimes feel I am standing in his way of enjoying of our time together. Why should he be frugal because I have to be?

I believe as a salary earning individual my money is to be spent as I see fit and of course the same is true for TC.

So it causes me some discomfort to see my situation impacting on him.

TC is very a very easy going individual to be in a relationship with. I just wish I could afford to pay my way to visiting fancy restaurants having lovely days out and booking extravagant holidays together.

Money is the primary cause of relationship turmoil and I am determined that with us this will not be the case.

Pay Day tomorrow.

Frugally yours


  1. Years ago whilst running my ever declining business, my credit card was £2,500!. I couldn't even afford the interest payments and needed to wind up the business but couldn't because of this. My M in L offered to pay it off without me having to pay her back. It galled me but I accepted in the end. Could you compromise, maybe let him pay it off but pay him back at a set amount per month or just bite the bullet and let him pay it off. Are you worried it might come back to bite you some time in an argument etc?

  2. TC must be very fond of you & sees you as being part of his life for the foreseeable future. You could allow him to pay off this debt with a written arrangement that you will repay the loan. You will cease to have interest payments each month. However, once this debt is gone realistically what actual difference will it make to your finances? You are still unlikely to be able to pay for exotic jaunts away or dinners at The Ivy. Does that sound harsh? Was not meant to be ... you will do what is best for you. Anne in Cambridge

    1. Actually it will mean more disposable income each month and with some plans we have in september ish time then I should be a lot better off each month with my mortgage being reduced too.
      Actually have no interest on my debts - credit card is interest free as is my overdraft.


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