In Which I Am A Paragon

Afternoon All

Hello Mrs G, thanks for your kind comments.

So it is a good thing that I write a frugal blog isnt it? It means I always watch the pennies and make do and mend.

It means we live always conscious of the pennies and constantly save toward the future.

Do we bollocks..

I am so sorry to burst your bubble, but I dont live like Frugal Queen or Mean Queen. I think they are brilliant, but I could not live like that.

TC was about 9 months ago made a Partner of his firm and so we do want to enjoy some jam now, but not on credit.

Anyway in a week we are going on holiday... on a cruise no less and have splurged on an outside cabin with balcony. We travel around visiting Toulon, Monte Carlo, Barcelona and Genoa. I am so excited and cannot wait. I have also been very lucky and TC put in £250 toward the coast of my holiday too. It is all full board, but we will have to pay for the drinks and any extras we want.

After 4 years together we have only ever been to Spain to his parents villa or for a weekend in Amsterdam when he got really sick.

So its a proper holiday with waiters and room service etc.

Of course I needed to get some new clothes, so after work I hopped to Tamworth and their retail park which is open until 9PM buying two tops and two pairs of trousers, I also ordered a multiway dress a few weeks ago thinking i could wear it for the two formal nights.

I got home and The Chap wanted to see what I had bought him to go away with as he has now surrendered all buying of clothes to me. I had not got him anything as he only needed shorts and they were in pretty short supply in October. Gloves and hats no problem, but not shorts.

"No worries" says he "I will grab some from town on Saturday"

ME "Where in town? as everywhere has sold out of shorts and only has winter clothes in"

HIM "No Screwfix has shorts in"

Screwfix, I ask you?? Thats where he is buying his holiday clothes from now. I really do give up, no one is ever going to think he is a Metrosexual as he grunts his way through life in a Star Wars Tshirt and Air Max Trainers.

No seriously I bought him a tshirt for Christmas and as he had had such a bad day at work I gave it to him early.



It has not been off his back since.

Bless his cotton socks.

So what I am longwindedly trying to say is I am not someone to look up to as a frugal blogger, but I am trying my  best, however I do occassionally think "Stuff this for a game of Soldiers" and go and blow cash on unneccessary purchases, plus in the last 12 months I have increased from a size 12 to a 14 and so nothing fits and I constantly look like I am popping out of stuff. Oh dear!

Frugally yours
Abigail
xxxx

Where Have I Been?

Hello Internet. Are you still there?

I have thought long and hard about whether to write this post.

 

Life has changed so much since I started blogging, I paid off all my debts and started putting money into savings. Today they stand healthily in the £1000s. My only debt is a mortgage.

 

Life has reached a level of normality. The Chap and I live quietly at Southfork both of us saving. He spends his weekends doing up the house as we would like to have it on the market  in 12 months and move somewhere bigger and detached. We will stay local as work is going well for us.

 

He has recently had a promotion, whilst I had my 12 month review (Lordy! 12 months since i left , my god awful previous employment - can you believe it?) which went very well and has led to a nice bonus payment which went straight into premium bonds as I am currently winning more than  I get on the ISA.

 

I have said before that TC is intrinsically a saver and puts away more each month than I take home.

 

The cats are all grown up at 2 years old and lazy ass teenagers, eating too much, staying in bed until lunchtime and generally being a delightful nuisance.

 

So life has quietened down. No debts to service, but I am still committed to living a cheaper life, though in all honesty I am never going to be a Frugal Queen or Mean Queen as TC would never eat their delicious looking fare. He wants meat and more expensive food. Quite frankly I feel he deserves it too, often working over 80 hours a week and still at it over the weekends. We are far from poor, and can afford to spend on the household budget. However, I do get whatever I can from Aldi.Why should I pay more?

 

We are very happy together withy only the odd disagreement, never about the big stuff.

 

So what do I have to write about? What could possibly interest you Dear Visitor? We are healthy, relatively wealthy and strive to be wise.

 

Little to catch the eye of the world looking for a few minutes respite from life.

 

And here is where I stumble. Life is not perfect and we have both reached a point where it is time for a change.

 

This was started 12 months ago when I left my position in sales over an hour away and downsized to an Administrative role, walking distance from home.

 

Why?

 

Because we both wanted a family.

 

We started trying 4 months ago and no luck. I am 38 years old and he is 42 years old, so I never expected it to be a quick and easy process. In all honesty I am not even that optimistic I will ever have a child. Time is against us. I believe I would be classed as a geriatric monther.

 

It seems a shame that as we met late in life, it has an impact on whether we can have our own family.We did not put off a child bearing due to financial reasons or wanting a career first, we just never met anyone we wanted to settle down with before.

 

Life is sad, read the papers and that is apparent on every page especially during these turbulent times.

 

But, I cannot help feel depressed every month when it becomes apparent once again I am not becoming a mother anytime soon.

 

"Relax!", many will cry. "It will happen!, but age is against us and that makes me sad.

 

Frugally yours

Abigail

x

 

 

Living With Boys

It has been 5 months, since I packed up my collection of beauty products and moved lock, stock and moisturising mask to The Chap’s house.

Life has remain pretty smooth, no arguments just the odd mood as I take offense at an imagined slight. Woe betide the boyfriend who doesn’t state “That was Deeee-licious!” after I emerge with a culinary delight every evening.

However, the odd situation does throw me for six as I contemplate the best way of tackling it.

Last night was a case in point.

I knew the day was probably going to be a disaster after I accidently managed to spray my hair with furniture polish and not hairspray as I was getting ready in the morning. God darn Tesco and their similarly festooned aerosols!

Yesterday evening, I had dinner booked with the girls from book club. It really is an excuse now to meet up every 2months for a good chin wag. We have even given up the pretence of actually reading a book and normally sit for 2 hours talking about partners, babies, jobs and last night weirdly washing. (??)

I always enjoy my evening out and last night was no exception. I chomped my way through a sticky chilli chicken salad and then rounded up my feast with a chocolate sponge pudding. All the while feeling vaguely guilty about the email I had hurriedly sent to The Chap during the day reminding I would not be home until late and there was frozen pizza and / or frozen scampi and baked beans in the cupboard. I do not know what he ended up eating and have not asked as I am guessing it was a 6 pack of Wheat Crunchies.

On the drive home from our feast, my stomach stated clenching and knotting, and by the time I got home the inside of the car had a faintly green atmosphere from the gaseous emissions.

By the time I walked through the door, I had to dash upstairs and proceeded to lock myself in the bathroom for 10 minutes, hoping that the noxious aromas would shortly pass. Twinkle who had snuck in with me, by this point was clawing at the door probably contemplating using a loofer in a desperate bid to dig a tunnel to freedom.

No change, my abdomen was tying itself up and the wind kept coming and Boy! if the instigator finds it most offensive then you know it could probably strip paint from steel.

Luckily, I found an old box of Buscopan, which is specifically for abdominal cramps, and took one ignoring the Best Before of 2011.

20 minutes and a hot shower later, I snuck into the lounge in attractive pair of pjs teamed with some thick bed socks and a dressing gown … buttocks clenched.

The Cats were studiously avoiding eye contact and I am sure Belle was sniggering!

I really could have done with an arthritic camel with a love of picked onions to blame it all on.

I casually mentioned my dinner was not agreeing with me whilst watching Game of Thrones, but as always TC was much more interested in discovering which Stark / Lannister (delete as appropriate) was going to murder whom and how.

Why do I feel the need to hide my flatulence, which really was the result of a dodgy dish, whilst The Chap thinks nothing of where we are and lets rip?

My feminine allure remains intact for another 24 hours..

Frugally yours

Abigail

x

I Think We Might Be Working

I bought my flat “The Towers” 10 years ago. When I first moved in, a friend moved in with me and took up the spare room.

Things really did not work out. She could not fathom my innate obsession with cleanliness and I found her ability to make mess 30 seconds after arriving home irritating. She met someone pretty quickly and moved out after only 3 months. I gladly helped her pack her bags and waved her off pleased that she had met someone and happy that we still remained friends (as we do to this day).

Then for 10 years I lived there all alone and perfectly content. I never felt lonely and I liked having my place perfectly organised to suit my needs. Boyfriends came and went. One actually moved in for 6 weeks whilst he bought a house, but I never seriously contemplated giving up my place.

Long time readers will know I moved in with The Chap over Christmas. If I am honest I packed my bags and rented my flat with a lot of trepidation. I knew TC was one for me, but I was concerned. I have left an immaculate flat, and moved into a bombsite with a kitchen that has been a "Work In Progress" since December and a bathroom in which you cannot use the bath (it leaks). All the internal doors need changing as they do not close and the carpet needs replacing everywhere (think tangerine / poop brown dreadlocked shagpile).

I expected to be stressed by the move, and I have been. I am getting used to having to cook everyday proper food for TC (no more evenings for me on the sofa with a bowl of cereal or a couple of pieces of toast and some sandwich spread).

After 3 months of moving in, we have found a rhythm and everything is going well. We are both happy.

I have been away on average one weekend per month since I moved in. To visit my sister and friends.

This week, roles have been reversed TC has flown out to Sweden with work for a few days. He left late on Monday evening and is due back late on Thursday evening, then Friday is his birthday.

I got home yesterday and sat down. The Cats came and said hello. I had dinner, the sort of food he would hate and then did a pile of washing, and cleaned the kitchen. I watched tv in command of the remote control.

I lay in the middle of the bed and wrapped myself in the duvet. I left the door open to the bathroom whilst I used it, and just dumped the rubbish outside the back door until this evening when it will be lighter to properly dispose of it.

And the whole time, every minute of my evening I missed My Chap, a lot.

Frugally yours

Abigail

x

Cupids, Hearts and Humbug.

A few days ago I mentioned I had taken out a lot of cash to better budget for food and petrol.

It seems to be working well. I have exceeded what I should have spent, but the good news is that it is by a lot less that I have done in previous months.

A celebration is in order. And tomorrow is um, now what was it Easter? Christmas?

It is Valentine’s Day!

 

I am not a big believer in Valentine’s Day, it is all a hype and nothing in my mind says “I love you” more than The Chap checking my tyre pressure before I go on a long trip in the car.

So I am not expecting bouquets of  roses or expensive gifts. Indeed I have not bought anything for him save a card.

Saying that, TC and I have been so busy recently with me away for the weekend and him still working on our updated kitchen that we have decided to go out for dinner this evening.

I have said before that TC is not thrifty like I am. He earns a lot more than I. He never has any debt and believes credit cards are paid off at the end of every month.

So having a meal out for him is not the big deal financially it is for me.

However, he is learning as he did ask “Ok, so where do you have a voucher for?” Bless Him! I normally only suggest dinner out when I have seen a particularly good deal.

I had actually got a list of places I could get money off if we did not go on Valentine’s night. ASK, Frankie and Bennys, Café Rouge etc.

I could also have gone out and bought the Valentine’s Day Meal Deals on offer at M&S, Tesco, Waitrose etc. The Tesco offer I could have bought with loyalty vouchers alone.

But, this is a meal for TC and I to enjoy together, a little bit of luxury. I find that if we have a meal out, then we really talk without the distractions of telephones, tv and “to do” lists.

That is far more important that saving a few bucks. So, I asked him where he wanted to go.

TC is not good with this type of question, and I just had a list back, not Frankie and Bennys, not Indian and not a steak house.

So I booked us into our local Brasserie that does a 2 course meal for £10.90 each and not a microwaved lasagna or chicken nugget in sight.

I am really looking forward to it.

Life is not so tough that I cannot afford to eat out with The Chap once every few weeks. And life is so precious that I want to.

I love him so much, I want to spend time with him, even after he infuriates me, and I try to boss / nag him.

So tomorrow, buy a card if want to for your loved one, or grab some flowers or even invest in a valentine’s day meal, but really time is the most precious thing you can give.

Oh God I sound like a Greetings Card!

Do you have any thrifty tips for Valentine’s Day?

Frugally yours

Abigail

x 

Dear Universe

Hello and Welcome to my new follower Alternative Foodie. Thank you so much for visiting. x

***

I am just putting this out there. I DO NOT snore.

Certain interested parties at "Southfork" have accused me of snoring.

As a dainty size 12, with the bone structure of a prima ballerina and the manners of a Victorian lady of quality, I wish to clarify for the universe that I DO NOT SNORE.

As someone who has shared a bed on occasion, I do know that I talk in my sleep, and I once even got up and laid all my toiletries out in a line in the middle of the lounge floor.

But I DO NOT SNORE.

So, I choose to believe that The Chap is going through some kind of crisis.

In such situations it is obvious that I need to be there for him. Supporting the man, loving him unconditionally and being there as he puts together the pieces of his broken nose, if he accuses me of snoring one more time.

Are we clear?

:o)

Frugally yours

Abigail

x

P.S. I promise you I really do not snore.

Living Together or A Novice's Thoughts.

Before I start writing let me qualify all of the text below with the statement "I love The Chap, Dearly""

I returned from my sister's on Boxing Day and since then have spent every night at The Chap's house. But, I consider we moved in together the day I moved over my bathroom cabinet. It is the female equivalent of hanging one's hat for us ladies. The day my lotions and potions crossed the threshold, then in my mind I had moved in. Basically, wherever I shave my legs is my home.

The Chap and I in nearly 2 years together have only had one argument. I am a paragon! (ha ha!)

But, at nearly 37 this is the first time I have lived with a man and I always knew that there were going to be some things that would take a little getting used to. After 10 years of owning my own place, and making all the decisions I realise that having someone else to consider would take some getting used to. (My mum says it knocks the corners off one)

This, came home to me on Monday when I swung by my parents after work to pick up their set of keys to give to my agent for the new tenant. I had a cup of tea and then toddled off to the estate agent's to drop the keys through the letter box. It never occurred to me TC would wonder where I was. So I was slightly perturbed to receive a text on the way home at 8.30pm asking where I was and if I was ok. I acknowledge I had been thoughtless. These little situations are bound to crop up.

But, I am still getting used to a lot of things. Getting ready for work in the morning is weird (now I have to wait for the bathroom!) and grocery shopping for 2 seems so much more expensive as I cannot expect a manly man like TC to just have a bowl of cereal one evening a week.

Having to compromise on what we want to watch is disconcerting too though we both like anything scifi or Attenborough related. These are areas of living with another I just had not considered.

Plus, as much as I love TC, we are just going to have to stop his little habit of leaving the towels to dry on the bathroom floor (I don't care there is underfloor heating in the room!).

I am far from perfect, and realise that my OCD cleanliness must be irritating (a point in fact I have a rolling device on my toothpaste tube to ensure all contents are used whilst the container remains spotless).

All these situations I was expecting.

All these situations I was not

1) TC goes to bed much later than I during the week, so I now struggle to sleep from the very low background noise of the tv. I am sure he must have noticed that all this week I had make up removal pads stuck in my ears by the time he came to bed. Not my best look.

2) When is the most discreet time to poop?

3) Is it ok to divulge that I like to lounge about in jogging bottoms when I get home, that are ever so slightly the wrong side of tatty.

4) Is it ok if I put the heating on?

5) When is it acceptable for me to change us over to my bed linen (which is better, newer and bigger)?

6) How long can I leave my legs now between shaving as before I just shaved them on the nights I was seeing him. Does he even know my legs have hair????

Such minor queries in the great scheme of life, and really he is perfect. Yesterday he arrived home to show me a new kitchen tap he was planning to fit. It is one with the hose attachment that I really wanted. "Posh people have hose attachments on their kitchen taps", I told him, when we were discussing kitchen sink adornments. So he had bought one to plumb in and had it delivered.

God bless his cotton sock.

Frugally yours

Abigail

x

Hmmmm...

I have been considering writing this post for a few weeks, and have waited as I thought about its contents.

Rather cryptic am I not?

I talk about The Chap on a regular basis. We were introduced over a year ago by a good friend with whom I attend evening class.

I am very happy with him, and I hope he is happy with me.

One issue that we actually rarely talk about, but I am constantly aware of is money. Namely the discrepancy between our incomes.

I have also mentioned before, that up until recently I was earning a very healthy salary that enabled me to drive a fancy excecutive car and go on long haul holidays every year. The advent of the recession stopped this as most of my spare cash was in commission form.

The Chap’s attitude to cash and mine differ, primarily as he has no debt and has expendable income.

I want to be just like him when I grow up!

I plan for everything and budget my weekly cash allowance. TC has no need to do this.

So I do get very embarrassed at not being able to do things. I cannot afford dinners out very often, and will suggest an alternative if TC suggests a take away for dinner as I know I do not have the money to pay my half or my turn.

I also often have to buy special food when he eats with me as I cannot bear to serve him my frugal fare.

TC is oblivious most of the time for the reason why I say No, as it is not his problem and therefore I do not mention it.  But, I find it tricky as I always insist on paying my way. I have never relied upon anyone else for money and am scrupulous at paying my half of everything.

It brings me to a dilemma, TC has offered to pay off my debt of £562 as he knows how much it bothers me and also I think he gets bored of hearing me discuss it with him.

I am absolutely not letting him do this, but I suppose I sometimes feel I am standing in his way of enjoying of our time together. Why should he be frugal because I have to be?

I believe as a salary earning individual my money is to be spent as I see fit and of course the same is true for TC.

So it causes me some discomfort to see my situation impacting on him.

TC is very a very easy going individual to be in a relationship with. I just wish I could afford to pay my way to visiting fancy restaurants having lovely days out and booking extravagant holidays together.

Money is the primary cause of relationship turmoil and I am determined that with us this will not be the case.

Pay Day tomorrow.

Frugally yours

Abigail

x

I've given up..

This is me throwing in the towel, raising the white flag and accepting defeat.

This week I am not going to be frugal and I am just accepting it.

Please do not misunderstand, I have not gone out today and bought a Chanel Bag. I am just accepting that this week I cannot be as frugal and as organised as I would like.

Last night, I got home at about 8pm after work and some chores. Quite frankly getting home at that time means I have as much enthusiasm for ironing as Carmen Electra does for quantum physics . So I just headed for a bath, bowl of cereal, an episode of House and then bed. Sound like a healthy diet to me.

I did not buy bread, I did not clean and I did not sort out a work lunch for today.
So there it is. This week I am giving up and to hell with it. Bought boxed salads, may God save my soul.

Today is The Chaps' 40th Birthday. I could get home and clean and iron and knead dough etc, but sod it. We are going out for a Chinese, a 'vino collapso' and some snoggage (to clarify - with each other). I will do my best to look a sultry siren of the deep tonight. Ummm, now how does that go again? Suspect it involved matching underwear and the liberal application of a ladyshave.

I hereby promise from Sunday, I will be an organised Frugalite keen to spread the message from the highest rooftop and extol the virtues of substances like hemp, bicarbonate of soda and white vinegar. I am not going to go shopping, I just am not going to worry about a clean house, or a perfect life for a few days.

Somethings are just more important, and The Chap most definitely qualifies!

Frugally yours
Abigail
x
P.S. I loved reading your comments yesterday, thank you for taking the time to write them. It is good to know you are not alone x

A Woman Is Like A Fine Wine, She Only Gets Better With Age.... Utter Rot!

I have been thinking about birthdays for a large proportion of this week as The Chap has a bit of a milestone coming up next month, and I want to do something special. Plans are undecided currently, but watch this space. A decision has to be made soon.

It reminded me that not long after his birthday mine looms. I will be making a transition to "late 30s", this is not making me happy. No sir, not at all. I seem to be having a mental block about it and I keep thinking "Oh My God, 40! soon".

Celebrating our birthdays will involve spending cash, which on top of the new front door (this is still "ongoing" with the HA) means over the next 6 weeks savings are going to be severely depleted.

For me there is no decision to make, I will be splashing the cash, as I can afford to, but in the meantime I need to continue ensuring that I do not spend when I do no need to.

Budgeting, budgeting, budgeting. With 3 weeks to go until pay day, the bank account is looking okayish, but I cannot see any treats in store. Also the car tax arrived yesterday evening £95 (I think) for 12M. It is at times like this I am so glad I downsized from a 220 Merc to a 1.2 Polo. I will buy 12months I think as it is better value.

No or Low Spend Days really help, it amazes me how much it is possible to fritter away. Even my 70p can of pop per day (I bring lunch in) would net £14 towards paying off the debt if I stopped.

The roast chicken from Sunday is finally finished, a day early as after 5 consecutive days of roast chicken and / or chicken soup last night i troffed the lot as I was sure after the last lunch today of chicken soup I would not be able to face it again. I was right. However it does review my price per portion to 41.2P.

Blogging early today as off to see The Chap tonight. I have not seen him since Sunday 26th, and my gosh I have missed him. With friends visiting, evening classes and work / family commitments we just could not meet up. This week I have been out every evening after work - book club, evening class, and seeing family. Seeing The Chap is always something I look forward to, but he probably is not getting my best this evening. Quite frankly, I am shattered.

I need a long soak and huge hug.

Thank you for the nice comments about my dress, I am quite pleased too.

Frugally yours
Abigail
x

The Weekly Menu Plan, Blown.

I am really glad that I spent the time organising the weekly menu yesterday, because today I can blow it out of the water.

To explain, today as the whole western world knows, is Valentine's Day. I remembered and popped round to The Chap's this morning to pop his card under his wiper so it would be found later.

The Chap offered to pay for a take away, but as he has paid for a lot recently I said "No" and offered to do something. Turns out The Chap is not fond of Mr Brains Fagots, the only way I could cook something quick when I got home and allow us both to eat the same meal. Plus I did not think egg and chips would make the grade tonight.

After much texting it has been decided I will pick up a cooked chicken from Tesco which I can then serve with mash, peas and gravy - all of which I do have in stock.

Whilst it is an extra £4.50 from the food budget, I can adapt as a cooked chicken will do me many many meals plus soup. However that means no Fagots again (are they ever going to get eaten?) and basically junking the menu plan for the next few days at least. I do need to grab some more flour too.

Whilst buying a cooked chicken is a waste of money, I know I could buy fresh and then cook it, I think I can justify the extra £1.50 as at least I will not have to wait ages for it to cook, and as I get in at 7pm tonight, I think we will want to eat fairly swiftly as we will both be hungry.

Also I have spent all of my £5 pocket money today after an NSD yesterday. One trip to Poundland - Crisps, Coke, Sugar, Washing Up Liquid and Bin Bags - Total £5 BUT the Sugar / washing up liquid / Bags are for the office so I can claim them back on end of month expenses. So perhaps, I can say only spent £2 so far?

I am well within budget for food so far with enough to pay for petrol and extras in the bank account. So with just over 2 weeks to go, it is all looking good.

A Little Bit of Love
I always look forward to seeing The Chap, we have only been together (very nearly) 9 months and I just think he is the kindest, most handsome man I have ever met. I cannot believe I have been so lucky. And we were introduced by The Chap's best friend's mum who I go to evening class with! Small world!

Frugally yours
Abigail
x