Wednesday, 6 August 2014

Where Have I Been?

Hello Internet. Are you still there?

I have thought long and hard about whether to write this post.
 
Life has changed so much since I started blogging, I paid off all my debts and started putting money into savings. Today they stand healthily in the £1000s. My only debt is a mortgage.
 
Life has reached a level of normality. The Chap and I live quietly at Southfork both of us saving. He spends his weekends doing up the house as we would like to have it on the market  in 12 months and move somewhere bigger and detached. We will stay local as work is going well for us.
 
He has recently had a promotion, whilst I had my 12 month review (Lordy! 12 months since i left , my god awful previous employment - can you believe it?) which went very well and has led to a nice bonus payment which went straight into premium bonds as I am currently winning more than  I get on the ISA.
 
I have said before that TC is intrinsically a saver and puts away more each month than I take home.
 
The cats are all grown up at 2 years old and lazy ass teenagers, eating too much, staying in bed until lunchtime and generally being a delightful nuisance.
 
So life has quietened down. No debts to service, but I am still committed to living a cheaper life, though in all honesty I am never going to be a Frugal Queen or Mean Queen as TC would never eat their delicious looking fare. He wants meat and more expensive food. Quite frankly I feel he deserves it too, often working over 80 hours a week and still at it over the weekends. We are far from poor, and can afford to spend on the household budget. However, I do get whatever I can from Aldi.Why should I pay more?
 
We are very happy together withy only the odd disagreement, never about the big stuff.
 
So what do I have to write about? What could possibly interest you Dear Visitor? We are healthy, relatively wealthy and strive to be wise.
 
Little to catch the eye of the world looking for a few minutes respite from life.
 
And here is where I stumble. Life is not perfect and we have both reached a point where it is time for a change.
 
This was started 12 months ago when I left my position in sales over an hour away and downsized to an Administrative role, walking distance from home.
 
Why?
 
Because we both wanted a family.
 
We started trying 4 months ago and no luck. I am 38 years old and he is 42 years old, so I never expected it to be a quick and easy process. In all honesty I am not even that optimistic I will ever have a child. Time is against us. I believe I would be classed as a geriatric monther.
 
It seems a shame that as we met late in life, it has an impact on whether we can have our own family.We did not put off a child bearing due to financial reasons or wanting a career first, we just never met anyone we wanted to settle down with before.
 
Life is sad, read the papers and that is apparent on every page especially during these turbulent times.
 
But, I cannot help feel depressed every month when it becomes apparent once again I am not becoming a mother anytime soon.
 
"Relax!", many will cry. "It will happen!, but age is against us and that makes me sad.
 
Frugally yours
Abigail
x
 
 

6 comments:

  1. Nice to hear from you, I can't wait to be debt free except for my mortgage. I will pray for you, don't give up, this can happen.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Please don't think age is against you. I had a very successful career and only at age 36 did I feel I wanted a family. By the age 0f 38 I had just given birth to twins! (conceived naturally). During that time I also suffered a miscarriage and the pain of feeling I had left it too late. You haven't. It just takes time. I remember the feeling each month of 'another month going by', but believe me, it will happen. It just can take a little longer.

    Good luck

    Donnax

    ReplyDelete
  3. Welcome back and well done on getting rid of your debt. Don't leave getting medical help too long as that help (I'm talking private here for speed) is not cheap and still takes time. Don't give up hope though.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Lovely to hear from you again.
    I know you will already know this but it takes on average around 6 months for a healthy couple to conceive so its still early days for you.....and no its definitely not too late.
    I'm 35 and plan on a pregnancy in the next few years. I know lots of Mums aged 38 - 42 that have conceived naturally...keep your chin up, it will happen xx

    Amanda A

    ReplyDelete
  5. It was lovely to read a post from you.
    I was 22 when I conceived my elder daughter; it took 5 months to conceive her despite the fact that both myself and my husband were young, fit and healthy. My MIL had my husband when she was 37, and had his twin brothers 13 months later, and several of my friends conceived naturally when in their late thirties. As others have said, sometimes it takes time, whatever your age. Don't give up hope.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I've only just found your blog so am late reading this. Only the last one of my children was planned and it took me a year to fall pregnant with him (I had him when I was 39 - and had my eldest when I was 27, so there's a decent age spread between them. I also had a contraception free period of 5 years in between where I didn't fall pregnant at all. It takes time, sadly. Best wishes to you both xx

    ReplyDelete

I really love reading all comments. So please tell me what you think. Abigail