Thursday, 7 August 2014

Thank You


Thank you for your kind comments yesterday.

Discussing such a personal issue is quite cathartic and made me realise the loneliness of trying to conceive.

Baby making is one of the last bastions of secrecy. With most, if not all couples the first time an outsider becomes aware they are trying for a family is the joyful 3 month announcement to friends and family.

Trying to conceive, you are stuck in the solitude of it. If it is not possible for The Chap and I to have a family naturally or artificially  then my pride would much prefer that no one was aware we had tried, but instead for friends to assume we had chosen to be childless. I could not bear the pity I would face on a daily basis from theses who had become parents.

As it is I currently suspect a few people are on "pregnancy watch" and so I feel self conscious if I mention I feel off colour or tired. TTC (trying to conceive) affects most waking moment from taking your temperature in the morning so you can catch ovulation to the obsessive counting of DPOs (days past ovulation) etc.

And it's all done alone and in relative secrecy. Though of course The Chap is always there for me. 

What should be an exciting and somewhat 'rude' period turns into a month of two fortnights. 1 fortnight waiting for your period to be over and ovulation to start and then the 2nd fortnight of waiting  to test.

It's lonely in all honesty as it's so personal and private.

So I write about it on the internet. Crackers isn't it?

Thank you once again for your hopeful stories yesterday. I won't be talking about this again for a while but it's nice to know there are so many other people who have been or know other in my situation who did have a happy outcome.

Frugally yours


  1. try Agnus Cactus a non hormonal herb, i found it helped regulate thing. I know your pain, it took us over 2 years to conceive our son, and with a few month of Agnus Cactus we were prego. Good luck
    I don't know if you believe in the power of positive affirmation but try saying you are grateful for your baby every day, nothing to lose but i believe this worked.

  2. oh how I can sympathise.

    When just before I turned 30 we started trying. told no one. No luck. Month after month after month. It is heartbreaking and it is lonely. for some reason, it is seen as perfectly fine for people to ask if you want children or when you will have them. blah blah blah. I used to say that I didn't want them, even though it was a massive lie and broke my heart.

    I did not want to go down the doctors route, a personal thing. (the herb thing mentioned in the other comments sounds like it's worth a try). And I didn't want to talk about it to anyone. I mentioned it to a few online friends though, sometimes it feels easier to talk about private things with people who don't really 'know' you. I get that.

    Finally, it happened. It took years though. By the time my little girl was born I was a few months off my 35th birthday.

    She's an only child. I am 42 now, and I consider her my gift. She was meant to be. She took her own sweet time to turn up, but she got there in the end. I hope that it will be the same for you. Only without such a long wait.

    Now I get busybodies asking me why I didn't have another child. Winds me up so much. I'm grateful to be a mum at all, so why can't they shut their yap and bog off?

    People are massively insensitive and don't think before they speak.

    Good luck to you. Hang on in there, and while I don't want to say 'don't worry it will happen', I am sure it will.

    1. Sadie
      Your comments meant so much to me, thank you for taking the time to write.
      You are correct it is a heart breaking lonely path, and I live in hope every month.
      Your story brough me hope and for that I thank you.
      Insensitivity is such a common problem rencently I answered to a friend that I did not think we would get married and I was not too bothered as I felt I was old to be a bride and she said "Nonesense, you are not too old to be a bride, a monther- yes but not a bride". Can you believe it?

      Anyway have a great day and thanks for visiting.

  3. p.s good to see you blogging again :O)


I really love reading all comments. So please tell me what you think. Abigail